I frequently talk with prospective parents like you, and in the end my advice is always the same—support your sons and daughters, but realize that choosing a college should be their decision. Be willing to offer the right kinds of support without trying to control the process. It is critical to let them take ownership of this decision, not only because it’s the right thing to do, but more importantly, because it makes a difference in how they approach their college experience. At Skidmore, we want our students to take responsibility for their education. I believe this starts with their decision to come here. As difficult as it is for parents, myself included, we need to do our best to separate out our own needs from those of our children, especially when it comes to choosing a college.

Now, this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t set parameters and guidelines. There are very real issues of geography (how far away from home do you want your child to go?), cost (what can your family afford?), and reality (protecting your son or daughter from reaching too high or not challenging themselves enough). Parents are a key part of the process. Strive for the right balance. Keep an open mind. But do keep your children headed in the right direction. They need you. Just not all the time.

In closing, I highly recommend that you read our brochure "Ten Ideas for 15,16 and 17 Year Olds ,” available by filling out our information form. It’s written for high school students, but there are many insights that parents will find valuable as well.

Best of luck in your college search. I hope to see you on campus for a tour, information session, and interview, in addition to one of our on campus fall open houses.

Sincerely,

Mary Lou W. Bates
Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid
Skidmore College